Hey guys, I think mother might be trying to kill me. It’s not just that she walked into a wall last night while holding me–geesh, watch where you’re going, mom!–but now she won’t feed me although I’m asking for food at the top of my lungs! She told me I didn’t want more. That if she did give me more it would hurt.
Umm, I do indeed want more. You hear me asking at the top of my lungs. I’m am right next to the foods and I want to sleep, so give me the foods and I will sleep! By the way, on a completely unrelated note, my tummy is full of gurgles and is squishing me. That makes me want to cry too. If she were a good mommy, she’d solve that too. Either way, I don’t like this world and want to sleep, so give me the foods. Now!
Though, maybe mommy’s not okay. Because on two of the last three nights, in the night when I woke up and wanted to eat to sleep, mommy said I was full (Maybe YOU are full, don’t speak for me!) and gave me to Daddy. Umm, Mommy, Daddy doesn’t even have the foods. He’s not an appropriate caretaker for a little guy in need of some sleep. Then just to make it worse, when I’m having a real yell about all that, mommy puts some music on. Now how on earth am I supposed to sleep where there is pretty music going on?
So, there are things. And sometimes they move in front of your face and you get moving pink black light shadow. Get your people to do it; iit is wiggly cool. In fact, sometimes when you look at a dangly thing it gives you feelings. Partially for that reason, I think I have things besides a head. I’m not sure what they are but when I get really excited I can’t make them stop. It was great last night feeling them doing things. I grinned and grinned, and Mommy and Daddy were BOTH giving me attention. But then I was really really tired and the mystery things that are attached to me kept moving. And that made me really upset. And that seemed to make them more active. Then Mommy did something with a giant thing and all those feelings stopped. Usually that makes me mad, and anyway they start over again very fast. But having the distracting wiggly feeling stop made the OH MY WIGGLY SOMETHING IS HAPPENING feelings stop and the world went away.
However, something in my eating place HURTS. And then it doesn’t. Then it HURTS HURTS. Worse though Mommy has been failing to make it better. Is Outrage. It helps some if I can suck, but Mommy Keeps Putting ME Down. On the other hand, sometimes Daddy gives me a finger. And he talks to me. I really like that Daddy guy. Coming to appreciate him more. He’s good at making things come and go above my face and when he has me the farts and burps don’t get stuck so much. Still really fails at feeding me though, and that’s pretty darn important. Stilll, I’m rating him an Ooohwaah.
Speaking of feeding, I’ve found that if you eat until it comes out, you can eat again. I’ve been practicing sharing my food with everyone. If I share enough of it with Mommy, she stops wearing that shirt. I wish she’d stop putting other ones on. I really don’t approve of covering the food things. Still, a couple days ago I got Mommy to change her shirt twice and Daddy to change his once before Daddy just stopped wearing a shirt. (See, Mommy, that’s how you do it!)
Okay, I’m going to go suck back to sleep now, so,