Monthly Archives: October 2012

Boing de BOING de BOING! (Bruce, 5mo)

Everyone, something absolutely wonderful has happened. Now, I hang from the ceiling and I go up and down, up and down! I mentioned before that I thought there might be something like “legs” attached to me. Now, I am absolutely sure I have legs. Mommy puts me in a jumper and suddenly my legs are wonderfully useful. I can stand and see so many things. And whenever I am happy, or excited, or even stressed, my legs flex and I bouncing up into the air. I stop when Mommy talks, but the rest of the time, little pushes make me go wheeee! It is everything wonderful, and life has become twice as worthy of singing about as before. You think I sing when I am out of my jumper? You should hear the way I sing in my jumper! Sometimes I get so tired, but I can’t stand for Mommy to take me out of my jumper. Yes, I’m tired, but I really don’t want to lose my bounce. Speaking of going in and out of my jumper, Mommy really needs to work on her technique. Sometimes she balances me on my tummy while trying to fasten me in. Then I usually throw up all over her. Silly, silly Mommy! Between that and the number of times I bounce the wooden part into her while she fastens me in, I think she’s pretty clumsy, honestly. Don’t tell anyone I said that though, because sometimes she makes sad noises when she gets hurt, and I don’t like that. It makes me sad too.

However, other things are good too. I have really discovered Daddy lately. “Daddy” is the name of the grown-up I see a lot, and I’m getting pretty excited about that. Sometimes he seems a bit puzzled that I think he’s worth craning upside-down to see or that I want him to hold me a lot. But guys, he’s pretty fascinating. On a day that was sometime before today, I hung out with Daddy a lot, and it was really good. Well, until I started teething and needing a change. But before that we saw the outside a lot, and went on a vibrating thing. NOT that horrible kind from before. Mommy-forbid! No, this one had many many people on it, and lots of them smiled at me. I grin at them and talk to them until they look at me full-on. Then I get shy and hide. Oh, and one of them had bright red hair all over his head, on top and beneath. I LOVED IT. I talked to him a lot. Now if I could just figure out how to sleep when there is so much excitement …

I’ve decided that by far the worst thing in my life is when I can’t get something in my mouth. Do you know how often that happens? It’s definitely the single largest cause of woe, evers! Lots of my toys are hard to get into my mouth. How is that fair? Heck, yesterday I wanted Daddy’s finger in my mouth, and he put it somewhere else!

By the way, I think I like spoon foods, but I don’t like that they are harder for me to control than the foods. When I want to eat the foods, I can just find one and suck on it. When mommy is feeding me spoon foods, if she’s too slow, all I can do is complain. And sometimes she takes the spoon out of my hands, if you can believe it! Considering how slow the service is, what on earth am I supposed to do while I wait besides play with the spoon?

Transcriptionist’s note: I try to use the tags to clarify what Bruce is talking about, if I think it might not be clear. So, generally, if you aren’t sure, check the tags below the post.


The WORST day of my life!! (Bruce, exactly 5 months)

So today Mommy, Kathryn, and a Not-Mommy took me out in a vibrating thing. That might have been fun, but they strapped me in tightly, so I couldn’t do much. Mind, I really can’t do much anyway, but being strapped in is offensive! I was being a really good boy though and I put up with it. Things moved by the windows. I watched. After an hour or so, we were somewhere else. Mommy got out and left me with Kathryn and the Not-Mommy. I wasn’t impressed, but  Not-Mommy was nice and Kathryn was still there. Then Mommy still wasn’t back, and my teeth started hurting. I YELLED. Not-Mommy looked surprised and tried to help, but I told her that I wanted Mommy!

Mommy came at some point and she fed me. We went somewhere and I slept. All was very good. Then things took a turn for the sinister. I woke up because Mommy was strapping me back into the trap in the vibrating thing. I wasn’t impressed. I slept and I woke and I was still there. And still there. And I asked for food and Mommy was near me. I could hear her. BUT SHE DIDN’T COME. And she still didn’t come. I cried until I was tired and fell asleep in my infant misery. It was TERRIBLE. And the vibrating thing stopped. Mommy called it a jam. (Is that like Daddy’s sandwich food?) The vibrating was all that was making it even kind of a tiny bit bearable. I screamed again. Mommy kept talking, but since she didn’t come that didn’t help. It made it worse really. After forever and forever, we got out and she got me. Wet fell on my face over and over, and I tried to hide in her. I didn’t like the fat wet falling on me, but it was so much better than the utter misery of before.

I clung to Mommy all the rest of the day. Tightly. Actually, I’ve been getting very good at clinging tightly, actually. I grab everything now and don’t let myself fall. After all, what if if Mommy let go? I figure I’d better be ready. Similarly, when I eat, I try to hook my hands into the foods so that they don’t go away. Mommy is really really unhelpful about that though. She unhooks me every single time and sometimes she even makes loud upset noises as I dig in. That scares me and I scold her for disrupting my meal with noises. Really, you would think she would know better!

Mommy isn’t the only thing to grab though. I grab the hanging colors that Daddy put over the place where they put me down to sleep–the wrong place where they put me when they’re not putting me in our big bed. Sometimes when I pull, the colors come down. Often they move and make noises. I wiggle about that. One time I was lying on our bed and I called for Mommy. Suddenly she was there and she was wearing my carrier with colors hanging on it. I looked from MOMMY!! to the foods to the hanging exciting colors, and all was good. Oh so very good.

Monster gnawings! And my gnawings

I’ve been trying to ignore it, but I think I have a problem. Quite often these days there is a monster in the place where I suck the foods and it’s trying to gnaw its way out. Mommy calls it “teeth” but I just call it horrible. It’s been waking me up trying to claw up out of my mouth. I HATE it and the grown-ups keep taking it for granted. Very upsetting.

And now something else is happening. I don’t know if it’s related or not, but another part of me–the part I breath with when I’m drinking–isn’t always working correctly. Today I wanted to eat, but my breathing place was too full, so I had to breath with my eating place! I was Very upset. I cried for probably a whole minute before Mommy realized jiggling wasn’t helping! (I think she’s just a bit slow; she really does care, I promise.) Anyway though, it gets even worse, if you can believe it. When she realized that something was wrong with my breathing, she found a blue monster and put it IN my breathing place. It was UTTERLY AWFUL!!! The monster sucked up some of my air. I protested as loud as I could, but the monster did it two or maybe three times. When I had gotten over the indignity a little bit, I found I could breathe again, so I had some food. Milk, it’s the stuff of life.

If I can just get through this monster gnawing problem, I will be having a great time with my mouth though. Lately, Mom’s been putting something besides the foods in my mouth. Usually it’s a little bit sweet, and it has lots of flavor. It is really exciting and I grab Mommy’s and help her put in my mouth to hurry her up. I want as much I can eat! Sometimes we miss and get food on my face and my clothes, but I forgive her that because this solid stuff is exciting. Mommy agrees, because she and Daddy have the solid stuff a lot. And usually they don’t share! Their solid stuff smells good but Mommy is greedy about it and eats it all. I ask for food by wiggling and looking at it. I think the parents understand, because Daddy tells me it wouldn’t be good for me. How paternalistic!

Mommy’s being bad! (Bruce, 4.5 mo)

Hey guys, I think mother might be trying to kill me. It’s not just that she walked into a wall last night while holding me–geesh, watch where you’re going, mom!–but now she won’t feed me although I’m asking for food at the top of my lungs! She told me I didn’t want more. That if she did give me more it would hurt.

Umm, I do indeed want more. You hear me asking at the top of my lungs. I’m am right next to the foods and I want to sleep, so give me the foods and I will sleep! By the way, on a completely unrelated note, my tummy is full of gurgles and is squishing me. That makes me want to cry too. If she were a good mommy, she’d solve that too. Either way, I don’t like this world and want to sleep, so give me the foods. Now!

Though, maybe mommy’s not okay. Because on two of the last three nights, in the night when I woke up and  wanted to eat to sleep, mommy said I was full (Maybe YOU are full, don’t speak for me!) and gave me to Daddy. Umm, Mommy, Daddy doesn’t even have the foods. He’s not an appropriate caretaker for a little guy in need of some sleep. Then just to make it worse, when I’m having a real yell about all that, mommy puts some music on. Now how on earth am I supposed to sleep where there is pretty music going on?